I’m a sham. I am not a minimalist. I am half way through my month of getting rid of things, one spoon and nail polish at a time, but it is not getting me any closer to a minimalist mindset.
The other day a friend texted that she had a garbage bag of clothes she was getting rid of, was I interested? My head almost exploded. This is a friend with great style. I love what she wears, her lifestyle, how she decorates. Of course I wanted her cast offs! I have never responded so quickly to a text. Not only that, I then started harassing her about when I could collect these treasures, desperate to get at them as soon as possible. That night I had an ecstatic dream that another friend was giving me piles of boots. I used to have a similar recurring dream when I was a kid, involving people giving me giant bags of candy. While others dream of flying, or unlock their unconscious through symbols – Carl Jung style – I dream of footwear. Even my subconscious is covetous. Maybe I should stop fighting my true nature and just admit that I am a hoarder at heart who will never have a capsule wardrobe or bare cupboards.
I’m ashamed, but not ashamed enough to say no to my friend’s clothes. My heart sings and sinks at the same time.