Today I purged the contents of my stomach. I am hung over and mortified and feel like a shaky legged new born fawn. I don’t know what happened. Yes I do. It was the two Manhattans I drank. Delicious. I’d never had one before, but anything with a maraschino cherry has to be fun and benevolent, no? I followed that with too much red wine. Followed by prosecco. Followed by suddenly feeling woozy and terrible and getting sick. Followed by having to be in the elevator carrying a plastic bag of vomit and sleeping on the bathroom floor all night, waiting for death. I am not a teenager. I should know better. I will be a minimalist imbiber from now on, I swear.